Jokers Mourning
by loveofthegame117
Summary: The suicide mission has been a success, but not without casualties.


Authors Note- Hello readers! I was kind of in a down mood, so I wrote this short interpretation of if Shepard dies during the Mass Effect 2 suicide mission. I didn't play as a female Shepard, and I survived the suicide mission, so there may be a few off details regarding that. I actually nearly made myself cry at the end, I got caught up in the characters feelings. So hope you like it, I enjoyed writing about the Mass Effect universe, so I might try it again sometime! Enjoy!

Joker stood over the black coffin emblazoned with an N7, tearstains still evident on his face. Five hours had passed since the team had made it back from the suicide mission. Arm in arm, mutually supporting their comrades, their friends, they all pulled through.

All except Shepard.

She had been the last to reach the Normandy; legs pumping relentlessly, sweat pouring off her face, both from the strenuous exercise and from the heat that existed all through the Collector base. Pieces of her Onyx armor was charred some had broken off entirely, revealing the modest body sheathing underneath.

Joker emerged from the cockpit, and much to everyone's surprise, hobbled to the airlock with an M-8 Avenger rifle, shooting at everything that posed risk. He wouldn't let anything touch his captain, his friend. His legs groaned and creaked as he fought to keep steady, fought against the recoil of the weapon. He was determined to protect her.

He could see it even from that far away, that she was at the end of her endurance. As strong as she was, as much as she had gone through, she was reaching her end. She made it to the lip of the cliff, and jumped.

It wasn't enough. The fatigue, the wounds, the deep mental depression she had been fighting ever since her crew had been abducted, it robbed the strength from her as she leapt forward. Impulsively, Joker threw the rifle to the side and reached for her- willed his arms to elongate, yearned for his hand to firmly grasp her to pull her up and into safety. He went as far as he could, risking damage to his arms and risking falling off himself as he skirted dangerously close to the edge of the airlock.

They met eyes, he saw the exhaustion in hers, and she saw the desperation is his, saw the deep feelings he struggled to hide as she had went about flirting with Garrus. And for a minute she knew, and a last, forlorn smile touched her lips. And then she fell.

Joker lunged to catch her, but couldn't make it. Garrus caught hold of him before the helmsman fell, but Joker kept struggling. "Commander!" He yelled, "Commander! Kelly!" He breached a line by uttering her first name, but he didn't care. He continued shouting, until finally it broke through- she was gone.

Fresh tears ran down his face as he relived those moments for the umpteenth time. The crew had been forced to lock him up as he had lost control, frantically shouting for his captain, which degraded to yelling profanity and curses at the wall, at the Reapers, at the Illusive Man, who had been the one to send her on this mission. Finally, throat hoarse from all the screaming, Garrus and Tali, Shepard's closest friends came in and mourned with him.

It had fallen to him to report to the Illusive Man in the commander's absence. The Illusive man tactfully extended condolences, but quickly began to criticize Kelly's actions, which caused Joker to bristle with anger. After spitting out curse-laden answers to Cerberus's leader, he had cut the channel.

Again, a feeling of hopelessness overcame Joker. Kelly had been their leader, the strongest of them all. She had brought them together to stop Saren and Sovereign, she had been the one to track them all down again, and despite the obstacles had won unquestioning loyalty from each of them, had them all into hell's gate and back, at the cost of her life. Without her, what could they do?

His eyes lingered on the silver N7. Kelly had been chosen for that legendary title because she had been the hero that held off innumerable odds. She had also become the first human Spectre, for similar reasons. She wouldn't want him to sit wallowing in her death. She would want him to muster the crew, and prepare the galaxy for the greatest threat they would ever face- the Reapers.

He took one last look at the coffin, solemnly remembering all the moments they had shared together, all the hardships they had endured, and swore that he wouldn't allow anyone to forget her. He swallowed, and with effort uttered "Goodbye Kelly." And turned towards the crew in the cargo bay. There was work to be done, and lives to be avenged.

AN- Hope you liked it! Reviews are greatly appreciated, and I would love to know what you thought! Thanks for reading!


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